Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
