omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
