Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
