don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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