Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
