my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
