guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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