no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
