I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
