Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize