I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
