could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
