Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
