Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
