That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
