Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize