haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
