You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
