Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
