I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
