Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
