hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
