Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
