I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
