would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Couch. On fire.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
