Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
