and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
