they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
