I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
