Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
