Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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