maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize