"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Then you guys just all showered together...?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
