Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize