I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
