I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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