So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
thus making me awesome and them whores
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
