It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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