you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
