Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
