She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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