She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize