Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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