I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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