Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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