wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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