i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
