I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
