I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
