youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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