Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So vagazzling was a success
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
