My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize