I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize