What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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