so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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