she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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