Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
