yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize