is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
