You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
