I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
