I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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