I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize