I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
