He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
